Day 25: Munich

Highlights:

• Pinakothek der Moderne
• Englischer Garten
• Augustiner Braustuben

So I stood the Venezuelans up. I examined my reasons for foregoing my only full day in Munich to spend the day with strangers in Salzburg, and realised the only pro-reason was that Lucas Jr was a Venezuelan fox. Young but with salt n pepper hair and mysterious dark brown eyes. I also had this sense of foreboding that Lucas Jr probably already had an attractive Venezuelan wife, and I was being primed as big Luis' London mistress. This in mind, I got up and scuttled past the train station, preparing a plausible story as to why I couldn't come if I bumped into them.

I found a cafe and settled in with my hostel-provided map and brief guide to Munich. So as well as the Olympic Israeli murders and the football plane crash, Munich (meaning the City of Monks) is also known for being a Hitler hotspot. As I walked around town, I noticed a lot of appropriate town squares for Nazi rallying. They're all quite large and floored with white concrete, faintly reminiscent of the top end of Berlin's Unter den Linden. At the moment they're mostly covered in lovely orange and red autumn leaves, so with the sky being a white overcast and the buildings being quite pale, your eyes are drawn down to this sort of fiery scattering. It's all very pretty.

I headed up through the centre of Munich past Marienplatz where there's a bit clocktower which puts on an elaborate cuckoo style performance a few times each day. Something involving a heroic German beating a Frenchie in a jousting battle. There were a lot of people waiting around for the next show but I decided to head north to the Pinotheken, a group of museums. Munich is the home of a lot of German businesses and I saw a big BMW office and an attractive classic pink building which turned out to be Siemens HQ.

Gurk had recommended the Pinakothek der Moderne, so I went and asked for a ticket in German. I really DO think I speak with a Bavarian accent, as here I'm only responded to in German. I understood one word in 7 on average, and I'm pretty sure I bought a ticket covering more museums than I could possibly hack, but my fake-comprehension seemed to please old Hans the ticket guy. Again, you're forced to put your bag in the cloakroom. They must get a lot of art terrorists in Germany. People Banskying over Rothkos and Cezannes and stuff.

So I generally think a lot of modern art is a load of rubbish, but I still love it. I enjoy making up wacky interpretations ("that maroon smudge clearly expresses sorrow for the extinction of the dodo") and taking the mickey. I got a free audioguide, which came with a screen that showed pictures of the artists and critics and seemed to mirror a lot of my joke interpreations though said with complete sincerity. Andy Warhol's religious meanings behind his converse trainer print, because he wore converse (which the lady described as the most popular U.S. Trainer) to the opening of his Last Supper showing. Oh the many layers and depth of that douchebag...I hate Warhol. I started reading his biography once, but couldn't go more than a chapter in. His shallow craving for cool, popularity and wealth is somewhat sickening.

There was some cool stuff by an artist called Georg Baselitz. He had a lot of figures who looked like muscular giants, but with tiny, tiny heads. The colours and style similar to the latest Manic Street Preachers cover. He was born in East Berlin but moved to the West for a bit, and a lot of his paintings are supposed to express his turmoil. There was a good one involving two Forestry workers, looking at two dogs caught in barbed wire. A bit grim, maybe. There was an empty room with some sort of creepy classroom setting, with all these wooden dolls.

There was some quality video art. First a documentary about setting up an art space in London for a Danish artist (Christian something), using a 'famous UK TV interior designer' who I'd NEVER heard of, called Gordon. It explained about the uses of space; apparently the Dulwich Gallery in London was one of the first custom built galleries. They compared the traditional style of that to the Saatchi Gallery's plain white wall and high ceiling approach, and the cool Danish artist expressed a preference to move away from the dull plain white walls. He wanted a bit more of a challenge. The Pinothek Modernes had an amazing style and layout, and it was a really unusual building. Similar tall light grey concrete walls as found at the Jewish Museum in Berlin (which you should all go to by the way. Best museum I've ever been to) but then with this unusual glass roof and oddly shaped breakoffs from the circular entrance hall. Turbine Hall aside, it makes the Tate Modern look really dull.

The other video art was by a Jewish guy, and involved him and some Jewish actors wearing old style country dungarees and caps, building a Kibbutz on the site of the old Warsaw Ghetto. It was beautifully shot, though every now and then focussed on some of the actors with a sort of glow around them. An obvious move to make the characters appear angelic and idyllic. The music seemed strangely Christian Cathedral, aside from a few harmonica timeouts as the actors rested from building this wooden tower and huts. It was all ok until they started putting barbed wire up. Nothing beautiful or peaceful about barbed wire. Apparently this video was part of a trilogy, and at the end the leader is killed by the others. Dunno what that's about. Immediately after this room you walk into a slightly darkened angular room with three landscape screens propped up in the middle. The screens show selection of naked people walking onto the edge of one screen, and then across and off the other end, holding a plank of wood over their shoulders. The next person starts as the previous has walked over all three screens. The viewing angle is from directly below the people, so you see a lot of willies and lady bits. Nakes Society, it was called.

I looked around enough to get my money's worth and then headed outside. It was really cold (I think below 6 degrees) though dry, and the streets were relatively empty of people and cars so it was very quiet. It seemed like the right time to listen to Radiohead's King of Limbs, and with my new bass heavy earphones (see Day 1) and those quiet, empty clean and pale streets, I think I finally get that album. It was powerful. Just Radiohead and I against the cold.

Had lunch in a nice restaurant called Soda near the university buildings, and then headed to Englischergarten. It's supposed to be one of the biggest parks in a city (though the only comparison it seems to make is that it's two times the size of Central Park. Having been to Central Park and being completely underwhelmed (it's pants), that wasn't a selling point for me. The selling point was that there's an entire section which is acknowledged as a nudist hub. I think it's offensive to wear clothes in that section in the summer. Sadly, that 5 degree temperature meant today was sans-nude, but it was still a nice park. Leafy. A few streams of river, which lead into Munich's Isar River (pub quiz fact for you) and some dogs and runners. I got lost (daily achievement) and somehow came out North Side, when I'd been aiming for South West, but you know how I am with city parks. Time well spent.

I walked back along the river and then into town. I think post holiday season, they decided to do a massive city refurb, so a lot of things are shut or covered with big sheets of plastic, some of which are decorated like the building underneath in an attempt to make it look more presentable. There was some sort of archaeological dig going on near Schrammer Strasse and sort of chestnut extortion scam going on, on Kaufinger Strasse. €3 for 10 chestnuts? You're having a laugh.

Back at the hostel I met up with Courtney and we went to the Augustiner Brewery Beer Hall. Munich is famous for its Hofbrauhausen, and we reckoned being slightly out of the centre, this would either be quieter or full of locals. It can apparently cater for 7,000 people. There's a mega beer garden which would be incredible in the summer, with the paths lined with candles. Inside, we were directed to the basement, circling down a low-ceilinged spiral staircase. The basement was huge. High domed ceilings and walls of red brick, with soft lighting. It felt like a true Bavarian experience, and it was packed with Germans. We were seated at the only free table, and I ordered one of two vegetarian dishes; macaroni cheese with fried onions and salad. Courtney ordered the meat plate. Seriously, just a plate of meat. And a weissbiere. Of course. It was brilliant. I'd recommend two days in Munich if only for that experience.

We had a great evening talking about Australian wines (apparently they're alright, if you know where the good grapes are), Parisians (Courtney had a put-off-for-a-lifetime experience in the capital) and pork knuckles (where is a pig's knuckle? Apparently it's huge).

End of day 25.